Mindset

6 Pillars of High Performance

Your Mountain Isn’t the Problem

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The world is loud right now.
And if you're like me, your brain is trying to hold both the gratitude and the grief, the joy and the heaviness. You want to stay informed, but you also need to stay sane. That tug-of-war got me thinking about the season I’m in.

I've paused my RV life for now and thrown myself back into work. I'm networking like crazy. My son is getting married. Another international trip is around the corner. And in the middle of all that motion, a familiar feeling showed up again:

That inner voice whispering, "You're not doing enough."

It’s my personal kryptonite.

Maybe you’ve felt it too - doing all the things, yet feeling like you’re not moving fast enough. Like you’re treading water, burning out, and still not getting anywhere.

I know that place well. Part of it is the entrepreneur life. Part of it is how I’m wired. But the kryptonite? That part can take me out of the game if I don’t catch it in time.

And here’s what I’ve realized.

Most people aren’t held back by lack of skill, knowledge, or opportunity.

They're held back by something deeper:

  • Self-doubt
  • Avoidance
  • Comparison
  • Old stories
  • Fear

Mount Everest, aka Your Life

There’s a metaphor I always come back to when I feel stuck. It’s that moment when I’m standing two feet from the summit of my personal Everest—flag in hand, ready to plant it—and I freeze.

I tell myself my feet are stuck in the ice.
I watch others pass me.
I start doubting whether I belong on this mountain in the first place.

So I descend.

No summit. No flag. No selfie of a lifetime.

But here's the truth my inner Sherpas always remind me of:

My feet were never frozen.
I was never stuck.
I just didn’t trust myself to take the final steps.

And trust me, those steps are scary. Success brings visibility, responsibility, decisions, discomfort. But so does staying small. So does never seeing the view from the top.

So today, I’m inviting you to reflect.

Find a quiet place. Grab a journal. And answer these questions. You don’t need perfect answers. You just need to tell yourself the truth.

Your Monday Climb: Ask Yourself This

  1. What’s the mountain I keep circling but never fully committing to?
    Is it something I truly want—or something I think I should want?
  2. Am I more afraid of failing—or of actually getting everything I say I want?
    What would success really change in my life, and am I ready for that?
  3. Where am I quitting too soon, and where am I afraid to quit at all?
    Not every climb is meant to be finished. But some are. And I keep walking away before the summit.
  4. Who am I comparing myself to that makes me feel behind or not enough?
    What if they’re not ahead of me—they’re just on a different mountain?
  5. What part of me do I need to let go of in order to keep climbing?
    Is it perfectionism, people-pleasing, an outdated story, or the belief that I have to do it alone?

It’s a new week. A clean slate.
Maybe it’s time to plant your flag.
I’ll see you at the top.

Cindy

 

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You do NOT need PERMISSION!

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I cannot tell you how many people I've coached around the topic of needing validation or permission to live your life how you want it. Here's the good news - you can get over the guilt, the uncertainty and yes - you CAN do hard things! Tune in to hear about my journey with the Permission gremlin and see how I've crushed it! #changeyourlife #mindset #motivation #takecontrol #createabetterlife #podcastepisode #confidence #fyp #viral #courageformula #TheCindyDonaldsonShow #Coaching #lifebydesign

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You are Settling…But you don’t have to

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One of my favorite Audible listens is Gary John Bishop’s UnF*ck Yourself – he’s in your face, and the accent doesn’t hurt.  A recurring theme throughout the book is: “You are living the exact life you want.”  He isn’t wrong – and here’s my spin.

We get comfortable even when life is shitty. I know because I’ve been there.  When you are in a downward spiral, incorporating one more thing to your “must-do” list you call your life is simply overwhelming.  Staying in a bad situation, be it a relationship, your health, or a nasty habit, is easier than changing. We consciously decide to stay where we are for fear of the change process and worry that even if we put some hard work in, the grass may not be greener.

Rock Bottom is real…but you don’t have to wait for it.

People will often make a change and create different life/habits when the pain of the current situation gets intolerable – hitting that rock bottom moment when enough is enough or when a life-altering moment shocks them into realizing a change is essential if they are to live their best life.

We fear that staying where we are is far scarier than where we may go – so we leap blindly and trust our gut.

I took up running and hitting the gym when my doctor told me I was headed on a path of destruction with my health – high blood pressure, high cholesterol, high-stress levels – the list goes on.

My father quit smoking when my mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

I left an abusive marriage when my 14-year-old daughter said, "Why don’t you just leave him Mom.”

And now at the age of 60, witnessing the decline and passing of my father-in-law I’m taking another hard look at my health, age, longevity and bio-hacking.

The hard stuff can be incredibly motivating.

When there is no crisis but a WANT for change – it comes down to YOU because that strong motivation isn’t there.

 You can want many things in life, but until you are willing to take action and make a CHANGE – you are settling with the exact life you choose. Hard to swallow, yes – but it’s true.  Trauma and rock bottom are wake-up calls that force many to change, but a “want” doesn’t motivate.

How do top performers do it?  Discipline, Grit, and Process.  Doesn’t sound sexy, because it isn’t – but it works.

I’ve challenged my group coaching clients to choose 3 small things they will incorporate or change in their lives over the next 30 days.  Nothing hard, things that they know without a shadow of a doubt they can accomplish BUT those actions need to be aligned with a bigger goal.

Perhaps you want to double your sales in the next year – a small “thing” would be making one more sales call a day. That small thing will add up over time to 30 sales calls – and my guess is there will be a few closed deals out of it.

Perhaps you want to lose 100 pounds – that number is daunting.  But increasing your step count by 2000 a day will make a big difference in 30 days!

The reason I’m having them do the 3 small challenges is two-fold.  One, the tiny steps add up towards the big goal as I noted above, but even more important is the mental boost you get when you do anything consistently for 30 days.  Seeing those check marks, feeling accomplished – you get an endorphin high.

That endorphin high is crucial because it will push you do continue on. You are training your brain that the discipline isn’t painful – in fact, there is some joy in it!

Lastly, I reminded my clients to flip the switch in their brains and say I GET to do this versus I HAVE to do this.   I have to thank my mentor for that tidbit of advice – it’s truly brilliant.

You don’t have to settle; start with subtle changes. It works.

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6 Pillars of High Performance

The 6 Pillars of High Performance

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John Stankiewicz talks about building a sales organization with 1000s of distributors

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\"\"John Stankiewicz is an Author, Business Strategy & Mindset Coach, and Network Marketer with 8 years of experience. He has built a sales organization of thousands of distributors that has done over seven-figures in product sales. He has also been a Worldwide Top-Ten Income Earner in his company for ages 25 & under for three years in a row.

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John Stankiewicz talks about building a sales organization with 1000s of distributors

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\"\"John Stankiewicz is an Author, Business Strategy & Mindset Coach, and Network Marketer with 8 years of experience. He has built a sales organization of thousands of distributors that has done over seven-figures in product sales. He has also been a Worldwide Top-Ten Income Earner in his company for ages 25 & under for three years in a row.

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giving

The Power of a Giving Mindset

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\”The reason I\’ve been able to be so financially successful is my focus has never, ever for one minute been money”, Oprah Winfrey – Harpo

So many business owners I know, or wanna-be business owners for that matter, focus on the almighty dollar.  How to make it, how to spend it, and they feel once they have “it” they will be successful.  This “need” for money engrosses them and in the end, it will never be enough to make them happy.   #toughlove

Not that making money is a bad thing, it isn’t, and every business owner needs to be acutely aware of his/her finances both in the business and personally.   Money also allows us to feed our needs and wants, and hopefully give back in some way.  Making money isn’t evil, nor is being wealthy.

The evil happens when, as a business owner, you put money before people or money before the vision.

The road to wealth is riddled with ups and downs – the money is never guaranteed but the pain along the way surely is!  When you focus on the money and forget your WHY – the emotional pain becomes crippling.  But this is another blog all in itself – back to the money over people part…

The way to grow a successful business is to GIVE.

  • Give to your potential clients – free content, free samples, free advice, free time… something that will let them know THEY matter and that YOU get THEM on a deep emotional level.
  • Give to your team. This is leadership 101 – but as the owner, the bucks stops with you.  When things are great – give your team ALL the credit.  When things are going badly – you 100% of the time take the sword. Always. Always. Always.  Putting your employees first matters in so many ways.  Employees who feel valued will always go above an beyond for you and your business, but more importantly for your customers.
  • Give of yourself. Most entrepreneurs I know have deep industry knowledge on something.  For me, I’m a business coach, a strategist with deep fingers in the marketing world.  I’m a storyteller, a writer, a trainer, and speaker.   Those are my superpowers.  What brings me joy is helping others do what I do – help them build a business, help them become a business coach or a consultant.  I try to give back when I can.  I’m always up for lunch so someone can pick my brain – I’ll tell them straight up my opinion on what they need to do to reach their full potential.

When you adopt a giving mindset, the world shifts.  Sure this sounds new-agey, but it isn’t.  It goes back to the golden rule of treating others how you would like to be treated.  You need to GIVE in order to GET.

Let go of the focus on money, and focus on helping others.  Help others achieve what you have.  Help your employees, help potential clients, help your current clients – help people in your community.

Trust me – when you do this – the money will come.  It always does.  Interview any multi-millionaire and they will probably tell you this:

  1. They don’t focus on the money
  2. They have grit and determination
  3. They have patience – Rome wasn’t built in a day
  4. They let go of their ego and realized that they need to surround themselves with people who are smarter than they are and can fill the gaps.
  5. They focus on their strengths and outsource the rest.
  6. They practice mindfulness and gratitude – that includes a mindset of giving and giving anonymously

Give to Get.  The Secret to Success.

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What drives you matters

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Y’all know I’m a huge fan of Simon Sinek’s “Start with Why” (ps affiliate link). His philosophy states that people don’t buy what you do or how you do it, they buy based on WHY you do what you do.  That WHY is what creates brand evangelists, followers, groupies – they drank the proverbial Kool-Aid of you and your brand. It’s kind of magical on so many levels.  #gamechanger

Here’s the thing, what motivates you to act matters.  When your WHY motivates you, you have a sense of thrill, a sense of pride, and a sense of calm about your actions even about the unknown.  I’m not suggesting it isn’t scary at times, but your deep seeded emotional motivations will carry you in an amazing way IF you remember WHY you started on the course you did.  Kind of sounds like marriage therapy – doesn’t it?  When couples are at a rough patch, therapists will often ask them to remember WHY they were drawn to each other in the beginning? Why did they fall in love?  What do they love about each other?  The WHY motivation is no different.  What drives you should not only inspire you, it should inspire others.

It’s the same thing when it comes to everything else in life – business, friendships, marriages, hobbies – it doesn’t matter.  What drives you DOES matter.

Compare the WHY scenario  to a fight or flight motivation.  You do something, you take action because you have to, because you are afraid of the consequences or perhaps because you are being forced.  There is no positive emotional connection to the action, it doesn’t bring you joy – the end result, nor the journey

When it comes to being an entrepreneur, I can promise you this is by far one of the most important things to grasp.  You MUST be emotionally and deeply connected to what you are doing if you want long term success.  You must believe in your WHY, so that others will believe it and more importantly so that passion will carry you through the rough patches.

When you don’t love Mondays ( beyond Simon this is my other favorite topic to rant on and on about) – you are in the wrong career, in the wrong space.  If you own a business and dread Mondays you are not driven by your WHY you are driven by a fight or flight.  I’m not talking one bad Monday, I’m talking “Sunday 2pm OMG tomorrow it all starts over type of I hate Mondays”.

What drives you to succeed matters, and it should never be about money. #gamechanger (TWEET THIS)

Money is a fight or flight motivator.  You fear not having enough.  You take actions based on how much you will earn or how much it will cost.  You aren’t driven by your WHY.  Think about that for a minute, I mean really think it through.  How are you motivated?

Sit down and make a list of 10 things that bring you joy, 10 things that you are really great at and 10 things that you want to accomplish in the next 5 years.  If less than 50% of them align with what you are doing right now career wise – consider the possibility that you are not in the right space and that you are driven by some motivations that aren’t aligning with your WHY.

If money is on the joy list – think about why and consider a rethink. What about money brings you joy?  Is it the security?  If so – change the word to security 🙂  just a little mindfulness tip.

This stuff matters, don’t brush it off.  When you grasp this and practice it – it’s a big time #gamechanger

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It’s time to lose the Dead Weight!

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You’ve heard of a detox before – whether it’s a diet, cutting yourself off from bad habits, or a break from technology and the black hole of the digital world – but have you considered doing a detox to rid your life from negative vibes and the people who cause them?

You’ve probably become so accustomed to some people’s behavior that you might not notice that their negativity is rubbing off on you or that they really aren’t cheerleading for you to be successful. Positive things come to those who have a positive mindset. You can practice gratitude, do affirmations, and positive thinking all day, but if you are consistently in a negative environment, you are just setting yourself up for failure.

You might not even realize who the toxic people are in your life without taking some time to really think about it. Have you shared a dream or goal with someone and their response was “you’re too old to change paths or try something new”, or “you don’t know enough about XYZ to be successful”? Those people are the dead weight, the toxic dream killers that are preventing you from believing in yourself and your goals. Their negativity will eventually seep into your veins – trust me.

There are all kinds of negative people out there, some are jealous of what you are doing or trying to accomplish, some just hate change or don’t have the same opinion as you do, and others are just downright miserable and want everyone to be miserable too. Some of those toxic, dead weight people might even try to make you feel uncomfortable, guilty, or even ashamed about the positive changes you are trying to do in your life. Regardless of the reason, it’s time for a detox to get rid of the dead weight. Keep in mind there are levels of toxicity and some people you can’t really cut out of your life for good (coworkers and family), but you can create some distance. Someone who is an Eeyore (Winnie the Pooh’s depressed donkey friend) probably isn’t very toxic, but they just bring your mojo down. I’d suggest distance vs. the ax.

These are the people who are most likely toxic:

Those who try to control you. These people usually aren’t in control of their lives, so they will try to control or manipulate others.

The people who ignore your boundaries. If you ask someone to stop behaving a certain way to you or around you, and they continue, then they are toxic and thrive on violating your boundaries.

The takers. A relationship is about give and take. If they only stick around when there is something in it for them, then you need to move on. If they aren’t going to be there when you need them, but constantly have their hand out, the relationship is dead.

The people who are always “right.” If they can’t admit that they are wrong or messed up, even when they know they did, it’s time to move on.

The liars. A little white lie or an exaggeration every now and then is to be expected. But you can’t trust people who blatantly and repeatedly lie. The victims. It doesn’t matter the situation, they are always claiming that they have been oppressed, put down, and marginalized in ways they clearly are not.

The finger pointers. Along with being always right and the victim, are the people who never take responsibility. When they take the role of victim and never admit they are wrong, they refuse to accept that they are responsible for their choices and the outcome of their life.

So now that we’ve identified those who are killing your positive vibes, how do you get rid of them? Burning bridges is never a good idea, so some tact will need to be involved. Depending on your relationship with the person and how involved they are in your life, here are some ways to start cutting ties:

  1. Write down why you feel the person is toxic and negatively affecting your life – these notes are for yourself, you may need them later.
  2. Talk to them. Keep it simple and explain how you feel. Remain calm and don’t offer deep explanations.
  3. If you must see them at work or at family functions, distance vs. separation will be the key here. Try to reduce the number of interactions you have with them. Make polite conversation but don’t share information about your personal life beyond being courteous.
  4. Unfollow them or block them on social media. Out of sight, out of mind. If they don’t see your updates on social media, then they won’t be able to say anything negative about what you are doing.
  5. If they try to make amends, remember step number 1 and go back and review your notes. At this point, only you can decide if it’s worth a second chance.

That’s my PSA. Yes, it’s much easier said than done, but once you start trimming off that dead weight, you’ll start to see how much more positivity is in your life and it might just inspire you to do some great things!

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Entrepreneurs: Mindfulness Matters

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I’m a serial entrepreneur. I learned the hard way, that my lifestyle isn’t always unicorns and glitter dust (as Jenn would say).  Being an entrepreneur takes grit, patience, hard work and looking risk in the eye and saying, “Just watch me”.

To love what I do, I’ve created a mindset around that.  I understand that every single day there will be challenges – and that’s all they are, challenges.  Will I fail at times?  Absolutely – but those are opportunities to learn and grow.  I’m not going to lie, I don’t walk around gloriously happy 24/7, life gets to me like any honest human. The difference is I don’t get stuck there.  It doesn’t bring me joy to dwell on what I don’t have, or what I wish I could have.  I look at the possibilities and I’m mindful of looking forward.

Practicing mindfulness is something I learned that most successful business people practice – in fact it’s what most truly HAPPY people practice.

It took me years to get here.  I used to compare myself to others, long for this perfect company with perfect cash flow and perfect employees – thinking everyone BUT me had them.  I call bullshit on that one.  Perfection is not only a myth, it’s an evil gremlin that messes with many a mind!

With the help of hours of reading, and working with coaches here’s how I came to be in my mindful utopia I call my life:

  1. My Three Words. Each year I choose 3 words that will define my year. I live by them – mindfully.  I choose them mindfully and I work at it.  This year they are: Teach. Gratitude. Peace.
  2. I journal – I used journal ALL the time. In fact – I have journals from just about every day I was at UConn. (scary I know – but a hoot to read!).  Each morning I manifest the day I want.  So, it’s positive thought – what do I want?  I also write down something around my Three Words. See#2
  3. I have serious ME TIME each and every morning. 5-7am is all about me. I ease into my day.  This was a game changer.  I drink my coffee AND… either read the paper, paint, exercise – or even go back to bed.  Whatever makes me happy – it doesn’t matter what I do, except to “Just be”.  That time is sacred, and on rare occasion do I mess with it.
  4. I surround myself only with people with my same core values and mindset. Why be around people who stress me out?  That’s the PEACE in my three words.
  5. I am a constant learner – I read, have mentors, surround myself with brilliant people. The only way to grow is to learn.

Folks, when I tell you I struggled with never really being happy for years – even though I had everything I needed – it’s the truth. I was never able to “just be” and enjoy the moment. Mindfulness changed all of it.

If you are a business owner struggling to have that work/life balance – trust me, just try my formula or make your own.

  1. Take time for you
  2. Be Grateful for what you have
  3. Focus on what you want versus what you don’t want
  4. Be Mindful of your actions and who you surround yourself with
  5. Money is not the most important thing – EVER. It will come and go – your friends and family are what you should treasure.

Namaste

CD

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