success

When Success Stops Feeling Good: A Wake-Up Call for High Achievers

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There was a moment when I almost walked away from it all.

Not in a dramatic, burn-it-down kind of way.

More like a slow, quiet unraveling.

I was checking the boxes. Showing up. Growing my company. Hitting milestones.

And still feeling… nothing.

From the outside, it looked like success.

But inside, something was off. Not burnout. Not boredom. Just a persistent question I couldn’t shake:

Why am I still doing this?

It’s a hard thing to admit when you’re known as “the driver.”

The strategist. The doer. The woman who always finds a way.

But I wasn’t in love with the vision anymore.

And I was too attached to the hustle to say it out loud.

I realized I wasn’t just addicted to the pace. I was addicted to the identity that came with it.

The one where people constantly asked, “How do you do it all?”

The one where I felt valuable because I was busy, visible, and always in motion.

Letting go didn’t feel like an option—until it became the only option.

Here’s what finally made me shift:

I felt more excited about starting something new than growing what I had. My wins felt flat.

I started fantasizing about retirement. My body was tired, and I was ignoring it.

I didn’t know what I wanted, but I knew it wasn’t this

And yes, I’m talking about Red Barn Consulting.

The company I built from scratch. The one that supported my lifestyle and brought me so much pride.

Until suddenly, it didn’t.

This wasn’t a crisis. It was a call to realignment.

So I paused. I asked better questions.

Am I still building something I believe in?

Or am I holding on because I don’t know who I am without it?

No one teaches us how to evolve with grace. We’re taught to grind.

But the truth? Sometimes staying is the real mistake.

I didn’t burn it all down. I restructured.

I let go of clients who no longer fit.

I made space for new vision.

And I created something more honest and aligned.

The version of Red Barn I run today is completely different than the one I launched in 2012.

Because I let it grow as I grew.

This is the work behind The Courage Formula: Foundations.

It’s the program I created during my pivot. Twelve weeks. Ten individuals. Real conversations, deep clarity, and powerful realignment.

If this is hitting you where you live right now, you’re not alone.

You don’t have to carry what no longer fits.

You’re allowed to want something different.

It’s not giving up. It’s growing forward.

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6 Pillars of High Performance

Your Mountain Isn’t the Problem

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The world is loud right now.
And if you're like me, your brain is trying to hold both the gratitude and the grief, the joy and the heaviness. You want to stay informed, but you also need to stay sane. That tug-of-war got me thinking about the season I’m in.

I've paused my RV life for now and thrown myself back into work. I'm networking like crazy. My son is getting married. Another international trip is around the corner. And in the middle of all that motion, a familiar feeling showed up again:

That inner voice whispering, "You're not doing enough."

It’s my personal kryptonite.

Maybe you’ve felt it too - doing all the things, yet feeling like you’re not moving fast enough. Like you’re treading water, burning out, and still not getting anywhere.

I know that place well. Part of it is the entrepreneur life. Part of it is how I’m wired. But the kryptonite? That part can take me out of the game if I don’t catch it in time.

And here’s what I’ve realized.

Most people aren’t held back by lack of skill, knowledge, or opportunity.

They're held back by something deeper:

  • Self-doubt
  • Avoidance
  • Comparison
  • Old stories
  • Fear

Mount Everest, aka Your Life

There’s a metaphor I always come back to when I feel stuck. It’s that moment when I’m standing two feet from the summit of my personal Everest—flag in hand, ready to plant it—and I freeze.

I tell myself my feet are stuck in the ice.
I watch others pass me.
I start doubting whether I belong on this mountain in the first place.

So I descend.

No summit. No flag. No selfie of a lifetime.

But here's the truth my inner Sherpas always remind me of:

My feet were never frozen.
I was never stuck.
I just didn’t trust myself to take the final steps.

And trust me, those steps are scary. Success brings visibility, responsibility, decisions, discomfort. But so does staying small. So does never seeing the view from the top.

So today, I’m inviting you to reflect.

Find a quiet place. Grab a journal. And answer these questions. You don’t need perfect answers. You just need to tell yourself the truth.

Your Monday Climb: Ask Yourself This

  1. What’s the mountain I keep circling but never fully committing to?
    Is it something I truly want—or something I think I should want?
  2. Am I more afraid of failing—or of actually getting everything I say I want?
    What would success really change in my life, and am I ready for that?
  3. Where am I quitting too soon, and where am I afraid to quit at all?
    Not every climb is meant to be finished. But some are. And I keep walking away before the summit.
  4. Who am I comparing myself to that makes me feel behind or not enough?
    What if they’re not ahead of me—they’re just on a different mountain?
  5. What part of me do I need to let go of in order to keep climbing?
    Is it perfectionism, people-pleasing, an outdated story, or the belief that I have to do it alone?

It’s a new week. A clean slate.
Maybe it’s time to plant your flag.
I’ll see you at the top.

Cindy

 

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authenticity

Marketing 101 – Why Authenticity wins the game every time

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Whether you are offering a service or selling a product, at the end of the day your buyers don’t want to be “marketed to”, they don’t want to be told what they should buy.  What they want is an emotional relationship that makes them feel good about the decisions they are making.

If you want to create brand evangelists versus just transactional “buyers” the one thing you need to rock is…

AUTHENTICITY

How does one be “Authentic” in a world of crazy chaos and “fake news” – how can you show your prospective customers the real you?  And yes, you do need to show them the real you – the real authentic you.

Here are my rules of engagement.

  1. Your personal brand is NOT different than your professional brand. I am not a “formal conservative person”, therefore my company website is fun and loud, my bio is very conversational on my website – and I am an open book on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.  Love me or hate me – I am who I am.  I attract clients who match my vibe, who understand me and well…. like me!
  2. Educate. Educate. Give your customers something that means something to them.  Give them what they want, not what you think they need.  Well, most of the time.  80% of your content should be what your customers will want to read, something they will find value in.  In many cases, your customers may not know they have a problem until you enlighten them – that’s when the 20% comes in. That’s when you identify the pain and show your solution.  Once you show that you understand them, and you have given them something of value over and over again – they will consider buying from you.
  3. Talk to them!  The best content is conversational.  Use email campaigns to “talk” with your prospects and customers, use video, chatbots.  And yes, even have IRL (in real life) conversations with them.  Remember – this isn’t about selling, it’s about showing the real you, and connecting with them on an emotional level.
  4. Know what you and your Brand stand for. So many people shy away from taking a social stand – I don’t – at all. If someone doesn’t agree with the fact that I’m a liberal that’s ok.  I’m not for everyone.  What do you stand for?  What does your brand stand for?  WHY are you in business – and why does it matter to your clients and prospects?  Being transparent is critical.  Be raw, be open and share personal stories.
  5. The Sword is mighty. If you or your brand makes a mistake – and it’s tossed out on social media, address it publicly.  Apologize and make it right.  Be respectful.  You will be amazed how you can turn an angry prospect or client into a brand evangelist.  Validate their pain – because it is REAL.  Take it offline to work out the details.  This holds true for any unhappy customer – remember this is focused on emotions.  Put yourself in their shoes – how would you feel?  More importantly, how would you like to be treated?  Yes, the Golden rule applies here.

I, like many business owners, was afraid to show my true colors until I said screw it, tossed the marketing 101 old school shit in the garbage and just went for it.  The result was magical.  I no longer work with clients that I don’t like, that don’t appreciate me, and that don’t – well, mesh with my brand.  I also have a sense of freedom around my brand.  The funny thing is, I’m raw, I’m open, I tend to swear just a little bit in my copy and so many of my loyal tribe are what you would deem conservative – in that they have c-level jobs in conservative industries.

One day we won’t have to say – Don’t judge a book by its cover – because the cover will be who the people really are.  Times are changing in corporate America and I LOVE IT.

If you want to see more of the real me – sign up for my Thursday morning missives – they are 100% raw, authentic and transparent Cindy.  They come out weekly – on Thursdays at 6 am.  To be honest – it’s my journal that I share with the world.  No secrets.  Just me.

Cindy

PS – one of the #1 ways I get new clients is from that Thursday email – and I rarely talk about Marketing, Sales or Biz Ops.  Go figure!

Marketing 101 – Why Authenticity wins the game every time Read More »

giving

The Power of a Giving Mindset

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\”The reason I\’ve been able to be so financially successful is my focus has never, ever for one minute been money”, Oprah Winfrey – Harpo

So many business owners I know, or wanna-be business owners for that matter, focus on the almighty dollar.  How to make it, how to spend it, and they feel once they have “it” they will be successful.  This “need” for money engrosses them and in the end, it will never be enough to make them happy.   #toughlove

Not that making money is a bad thing, it isn’t, and every business owner needs to be acutely aware of his/her finances both in the business and personally.   Money also allows us to feed our needs and wants, and hopefully give back in some way.  Making money isn’t evil, nor is being wealthy.

The evil happens when, as a business owner, you put money before people or money before the vision.

The road to wealth is riddled with ups and downs – the money is never guaranteed but the pain along the way surely is!  When you focus on the money and forget your WHY – the emotional pain becomes crippling.  But this is another blog all in itself – back to the money over people part…

The way to grow a successful business is to GIVE.

  • Give to your potential clients – free content, free samples, free advice, free time… something that will let them know THEY matter and that YOU get THEM on a deep emotional level.
  • Give to your team. This is leadership 101 – but as the owner, the bucks stops with you.  When things are great – give your team ALL the credit.  When things are going badly – you 100% of the time take the sword. Always. Always. Always.  Putting your employees first matters in so many ways.  Employees who feel valued will always go above an beyond for you and your business, but more importantly for your customers.
  • Give of yourself. Most entrepreneurs I know have deep industry knowledge on something.  For me, I’m a business coach, a strategist with deep fingers in the marketing world.  I’m a storyteller, a writer, a trainer, and speaker.   Those are my superpowers.  What brings me joy is helping others do what I do – help them build a business, help them become a business coach or a consultant.  I try to give back when I can.  I’m always up for lunch so someone can pick my brain – I’ll tell them straight up my opinion on what they need to do to reach their full potential.

When you adopt a giving mindset, the world shifts.  Sure this sounds new-agey, but it isn’t.  It goes back to the golden rule of treating others how you would like to be treated.  You need to GIVE in order to GET.

Let go of the focus on money, and focus on helping others.  Help others achieve what you have.  Help your employees, help potential clients, help your current clients – help people in your community.

Trust me – when you do this – the money will come.  It always does.  Interview any multi-millionaire and they will probably tell you this:

  1. They don’t focus on the money
  2. They have grit and determination
  3. They have patience – Rome wasn’t built in a day
  4. They let go of their ego and realized that they need to surround themselves with people who are smarter than they are and can fill the gaps.
  5. They focus on their strengths and outsource the rest.
  6. They practice mindfulness and gratitude – that includes a mindset of giving and giving anonymously

Give to Get.  The Secret to Success.

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Why your current employer could be you #1 Customer

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One of the biggest roadblocks for many “Want-trapreneurs” looking to launch a service based business (or any type of business for that matter) is maintaining their current income base.   It’s hard to leave the security of a guaranteed salary, health insurance, paid vacations and the almighty 401K, I get it – I’ve been there.

When I sit down to coach people who are living in limbo land   – the land of “I really want to be out on my own” BUT “I need to still make 6 figures”.

I first address the need versus want.  What many perceived as a necessity is simply a want that can be given up.  It’s no secret that many of us live far richer than we need to – everything from the $5 daily allotment of coffee to the big house and the fancy car to eating out 3x a week.  When you really track what you are spending your money on, you quickly realize there is a lot of fluff.  You need a roof over your head, basic utilities paid and food on the table, access to health care (don’t get me started on this one) – in other words, you NEED the basics, you WANT the other stuff.

After we create that need budget we come down to what type of salary is vital for your existence.  I’m not saying you need to sell your car and your house and go live in a tent, but I do force people to be realistic.  The more fat you cut, the less money you need to leave your 9-5 and go out on your own.

Once this is out of the way – I dive deeply into their current situation.  I often find many people really love what they do, they like who they work for but they have an “itch” to go out on their own. They want to have control over their destiny and work for themselves versus someone else.  They’ve done a great job, have aced their reviews but there is just something missing.

If you want to start a consulting gig that aligns with what you are currently doing in your 9-5 job, your #1 big prospect should be your current employer.  Many, not all, will embrace the concept.  They get to keep great talent at a reduced cost – no longer paying taxes and benefits.  It will also help them bridge the gap until they find a replacement if indeed they decide to do so.

I usually suggest to my clients that they flesh out their idea with some smaller clients that aren’t their employer to ensure they have refined their process before the ultimate pitch and the resignation letter. Some employers frown on or forbid a side hustle, so make sure you know the rules because the last thing you want to do is burn a bridge.

The bridge theory works, I’ve done it and I’ve helped others to do the same.   There’s a bit more to the process than a 500 word article can articulate, but you get the picture!

Why your current employer could be you #1 Customer Read More »

Marketing – it\’s a TEAM effort!

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As the saying goes – there is no “I” in TEAM. I wish the word Marketing didn’t have an “I” in it so I could carry the saying over – but I think you know where I’m going here.  You can spell team using the letters in Marketing though! Marketing is a TEAM effort – that is, if you want to have the biggest ROI (Return on Investment).

About the TEAM in MARKETING.  I get some pushback on this, especially if I have a client paying me to handle marketing for them, or if they have an in-house marketing person or group.  Why do the rest of the employees need to be involved – what gives?

In fact – a lot gives. Here’s why.

  1. When you build a culture of inclusion making everyone part of the process and therefore the story, magical things happen.  It creates a powerful place of employment, more importantly, the team not only drinks the proverbial Kook-Ade – but they also share it.  WORD of MOUTH Marketing is powerful.  When employees brag about your brand – what does that say about you?  Ps – A Lot.
  2. You get the REAL STORY. Back to #1.  When you have team members posting work selfies on Instagram, Facebook & Twitter – or FB or Insta Live videos they tend to get far more engagement and will tend to become viral over a standard – hey here’s what we do post.  More importantly, you are getting a behind the scenes look at what makes the company tick aka “The Real Scoop”.
  3. Your buyers don’t want to be sold to. When you get that real behind the scenes story, buyers can see what’s real and then make a decision based on that reality.  Far more powerful than an advertisement telling someone why they should buy from you.
  4. The team includes your customers! We all strive to have brand evangelists, so why not encourage your employees to find those evangelists and engage with them on social.  Salespeople are your ideal target for this since they are often client facing – or perhaps even a service team.  Having an employee and a happy customer in an Instagram Story or in a picture on Twitter is PRICELESS!  You can’t beat that kind of advertising.
  5. Consistency, Authenticity, and Transparency. The holy grail of marketing.  When you have your team involved this becomes far easier.  You will have more engagement, you will see the real behind the scenes story from real people – not actors, not stock photos and not a stagnant social feed or website.

So….that’s why I encourage CEO’s to have a flexible yet monitored social media policy.  Yes, you have to have training and controls especially in compliance driven fields such as healthcare, financial services, and insurance – but trust me, it can be done and done well.

That’s my story, I’m sticking to it.  Go Team is the answer to this one. 100% hands down a winner!

Marketing – it\’s a TEAM effort! Read More »

Marketing – it\’s a TEAM effort!

Leave a Comment / Featured, Finance, Fun Stuff, Healthcare, Insurance, Marketing, Must Read Blogs, Sales, Small Business, Uncategorized / By / / , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

As the saying goes – there is no “I” in TEAM. I wish the word Marketing didn’t have an “I” in it so I could carry the saying over – but I think you know where I’m going here.  You can spell team using the letters in Marketing though! Marketing is a TEAM effort – that is, if you want to have the biggest ROI (Return on Investment).

About the TEAM in MARKETING.  I get some pushback on this, especially if I have a client paying me to handle marketing for them, or if they have an in-house marketing person or group.  Why do the rest of the employees need to be involved – what gives?

In fact – a lot gives. Here’s why.

  1. When you build a culture of inclusion making everyone part of the process and therefore the story, magical things happen.  It creates a powerful place of employment, more importantly, the team not only drinks the proverbial Kook-Ade – but they also share it.  WORD of MOUTH Marketing is powerful.  When employees brag about your brand – what does that say about you?  Ps – A Lot.
  2. You get the REAL STORY. Back to #1.  When you have team members posting work selfies on Instagram, Facebook & Twitter – or FB or Insta Live videos they tend to get far more engagement and will tend to become viral over a standard – hey here’s what we do post.  More importantly, you are getting a behind the scenes look at what makes the company tick aka “The Real Scoop”.
  3. Your buyers don’t want to be sold to. When you get that real behind the scenes story, buyers can see what’s real and then make a decision based on that reality.  Far more powerful than an advertisement telling someone why they should buy from you.
  4. The team includes your customers! We all strive to have brand evangelists, so why not encourage your employees to find those evangelists and engage with them on social.  Salespeople are your ideal target for this since they are often client facing – or perhaps even a service team.  Having an employee and a happy customer in an Instagram Story or in a picture on Twitter is PRICELESS!  You can’t beat that kind of advertising.
  5. Consistency, Authenticity, and Transparency. The holy grail of marketing.  When you have your team involved this becomes far easier.  You will have more engagement, you will see the real behind the scenes story from real people – not actors, not stock photos and not a stagnant social feed or website.

So….that’s why I encourage CEO’s to have a flexible yet monitored social media policy.  Yes, you have to have training and controls especially in compliance driven fields such as healthcare, financial services, and insurance – but trust me, it can be done and done well.

That’s my story, I’m sticking to it.  Go Team is the answer to this one. 100% hands down a winner!

Marketing – it\’s a TEAM effort! Read More »

Is Face to Face Networking a thing of the Past?

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I’m a huge fan of social networking and platforms such as LinkedIn to make new business connections and garner new clients. The internet has shortened my sales cycles, opened me up to opportunities I once would never had – but what about old school connecting?  Has face to face  – “Hey, let’s meet for a coffee” – strategy gone by the way side?

In my world, that’s an absolute no. The real magic happens for me when I can get in a physical room with someone.  Sure, I’ve closed deals with people I’ve never met face to face. I’ve used Zoom and Skype and the good ole phone, but there’s nothing like sitting across the table from someone and having a conversation.  When you can be in the physical presence of another, you learn more, you absorb more.

I also believe that mass networking events such as Chambers of Commerce and other peer group association events warrant attention.  To be honest, I’ve scaled back on these over the years but I launched my business based on a lot of those relationships from my local Chamber of Commerce.  In fact, I kind of miss being in the “know” of what’s happening, so I just signed up for a few after-hours events.

The answer isn’t either or, but a combination thereof.  Yes, make sure you have an online brand that tells your story, but don’t discount the local face to face opportunities.  People that already know of you and perhaps even know what you do and what you offer.  Being in the right place at the right time is always priceless.  I can’t tell you how many clients I’ve gotten over the years just because I was at an event sipping a glass of wine with someone talking about “life” when they said – “You know, you and I really should talk – give me a call tomorrow and let’s set something up.”

The best clients are often the ones you aren’t searching for, but the ones that serendipitously appear before you at that “right time”.

If you are in startup mode, especially in a service based industry, I strongly advise you to join some type of local networking group.  Get your name out there, get comfortable with your story, meet some master networkers who will spread your proverbial love around.  Don’t forget – it’s all about who you know.  Why not give the good ‘ole networking thing a try again – add it to your online repertoire!

Is Face to Face Networking a thing of the Past? Read More »

What’s it REALLY like to be an Entrepreneur?

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Funny story. For several years I was a teacher for the YEA! Young Entrepreneur Academy.  It was an amazing experience – I helped middle school and high school students launch legitimate businesses.  After 9 months, they created a legitimate DBA in the State of CT, asked for money from investors and launched.

On the first day of the class I always asked the students what they thought an entrepreneur was – I wanted to see their vision.  Here are some very real answers:

  • I get to have an office with a chair that spins around
  • I get to be a millionaire
  • I get to have a ton of money
  • I get to do whatever I want
  • I get to take vacations whenever I want
  • I get to be the boss

These were children, but I can tell you that many adults see entrepreneur life through rose colored glasses as well.

Being an entrepreneur IS amazing.  To be honest – I’m not employable – really.  I like being the boss, I like taking vacations when I want – but I also am down for working 80 hours in a week if that’s what needs to happen.

The fantasy driven view of what owning a business is all about is probably one of the biggest reasons many fail – they aren’t prepared for the tough spots.  I absolutely love launching businesses – it’s FUN.  Creating the business plan, designing logos, creating the marketing message, gearing up for the launch – all that is super cool and fuels my soul and creative side.  The rubber hits the road the day after the launch – because that’s when it gets real. You have to run the business, live the business and for most, you ARE the business.

When I was working with the kids and started fleshing out their business ideas – we honed in on what they loved to do and what they were really great at.  When you can combine the combo it works.  Many had hobbies such as sewing, baking, and animal welfare that they felt would make great business ideas.  When I asked them:  Would you like to bake dog treats (or whatever their hobby was) 40 hours a week and spend another 20 working on sales, marketing, and administrative “stuff” – they stared at me in disbelief.  They ASSUMED they would hire other people to do the manual work and they would be sitting in that chair twirling around.

To the children’s credit, they quickly realized that just because you have a hobby doesn’t mean you would want to flip that into a full-time business. Why?  The absolute joy of that hobby could be gone after the first 60 hour work week AND just because it’s a hobby you enjoy doesn’t mean others will pay you for that product or service.

The last point I want to touch on is the money.  You need it and often times lots of it.  I’ve seen many entrepreneurs drain their savings, tap into family and friends, and launch without a solid game plan, solid market research and a long-term vision. The money is gone and the family and friends are far from happy.  Yes, you need to be a risk taker when it comes to money – been there, done that.  You also need to realize there will be many weeks you as the owner will not get a paycheck so you can pay staff and invest back into the company.  Be prepared to be poor.  Some businesses take off immediately and sure, they make millionaires within year one. That is rare – very rare.

To wrap up, entrepreneur life is grand.  It’s hard, it’s easy, it’s frustrating, and it’s rewarding all at the same time.  I wouldn’t have it any other way.

What’s it REALLY like to be an Entrepreneur? Read More »

Biz Launch: It’s not Field of Dreams

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Starting a business is a lot easier than it used to be 20 years ago.  With the invention of technology, the internet, and the acceptance of virtual companies, you can start a company in a couple of hours including tossing up a website.

So, what’s the inside skinny on the success story?  Why do some win and others fail?

For starters, it’s not “Field of Dreams” as in if you build it they will come. Even if you have the most amazing UNIQUE never been done before product or service, you need to let people know you are in business.  Many people think if they have a website, a Twitter account with a couple posts, and a Facebook page the phone should be ringing off the hook and orders/jobs rushing in.  That’s not how it works.  It takes sales, networking, sharing.  It takes TIME – typically 3-5 years before you work out all the kinks, show a real profit, and settle in.

Toss in the towel too Early. Back to the above, you’ve got to give your business time to grow, you have to nurture it, change it, be passionate about it and devote many many hours to its soul.

Knowing it won’t always be easy, but it will be worth it.  Many entrepreneurs aren’t prepared for the FAIL.  Suck it up Buttercup because you will have more than one OMG, WHY! moments in your business.  From staffing issues to product delivery issues, to cash flow issues (this is a biggie) to simple brain burnout issues.  Prepare yourself for them, but don’t dwell on them.

Look forward not back.  Speaking of dwelling, you can’t can’t can’t overthink all of your mistakes and failures – they are simply learning opportunities.  It isn’t easy.  Not my first rodeo and I still have to remind myself of this.  When I or my team make a mistake it keeps me up at night.  When cash flow is tight I get anxiety. I need to remind myself that this is simply a bump in the road, I address the issue – come up with a solution and look forward.

Know that innovation is King.  You will change your business multiple times, what you start with is not what you will end with.  That includes products, services – hell even your brand and your name.  Be flexible and know that change is good.

Manifest your Destiny.  This too is about looking forward.  I always coach my clients on mindfulness and focusing on WHAT YOU WANT versus what you do not have.  Sounds new agey, but it’s true. When you dwell on what you don’t have it consumes you and freezes you. When you focus on what you want and can picture yourself as a success – it happens because you easily can overlook the bumps in the road.  Read “Think and Grow Rich” #gamechanger

Be Grateful.  Don’t focus on the money.  Trust me, this is so incredibly important.  People who focus on the almighty dollar sometimes make choices they shouldn’t.  Plus if you focus on all the above, the money will come.  Sure – determine what you want to make, have some goals but don’t let being a millionaire blind you.  Be grateful for what you have, your clients, your family, your possessions, your senses, your ability to be an entrepreneur. So many others don’t have nearly what you have.  Focus on that – think deeply on that.

When I see entrepreneurs struggling, I go over this list and try to identify where the roadblock is.  Once identified, I can coach them through it.  Looking in the mirror is the first stage of acceptance that something needs to change – it isn’t easy but the results are AMAZING!

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