Goal Setting

One of my favorite Audible listens is Gary John Bishop’s UnF*ck Yourself – he’s in your face, and the accent doesn’t hurt.  A recurring theme throughout the book is: “You are living the exact life you want.”  He isn’t wrong – and here’s my spin.

We get comfortable even when life is shitty. I know because I’ve been there.  When you are in a downward spiral, incorporating one more thing to your “must-do” list you call your life is simply overwhelming.  Staying in a bad situation, be it a relationship, your health, or a nasty habit, is easier than changing. We consciously decide to stay where we are for fear of the change process and worry that even if we put some hard work in, the grass may not be greener.

Rock Bottom is real…but you don’t have to wait for it.

People will often make a change and create different life/habits when the pain of the current situation gets intolerable – hitting that rock bottom moment when enough is enough or when a life-altering moment shocks them into realizing a change is essential if they are to live their best life.

We fear that staying where we are is far scarier than where we may go – so we leap blindly and trust our gut.

I took up running and hitting the gym when my doctor told me I was headed on a path of destruction with my health – high blood pressure, high cholesterol, high-stress levels – the list goes on.

My father quit smoking when my mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

I left an abusive marriage when my 14-year-old daughter said, "Why don’t you just leave him Mom.”

And now at the age of 60, witnessing the decline and passing of my father-in-law I’m taking another hard look at my health, age, longevity and bio-hacking.

The hard stuff can be incredibly motivating.

When there is no crisis but a WANT for change – it comes down to YOU because that strong motivation isn’t there.

 You can want many things in life, but until you are willing to take action and make a CHANGE – you are settling with the exact life you choose. Hard to swallow, yes – but it’s true.  Trauma and rock bottom are wake-up calls that force many to change, but a “want” doesn’t motivate.

How do top performers do it?  Discipline, Grit, and Process.  Doesn’t sound sexy, because it isn’t – but it works.

I’ve challenged my group coaching clients to choose 3 small things they will incorporate or change in their lives over the next 30 days.  Nothing hard, things that they know without a shadow of a doubt they can accomplish BUT those actions need to be aligned with a bigger goal.

Perhaps you want to double your sales in the next year – a small “thing” would be making one more sales call a day. That small thing will add up over time to 30 sales calls – and my guess is there will be a few closed deals out of it.

Perhaps you want to lose 100 pounds – that number is daunting.  But increasing your step count by 2000 a day will make a big difference in 30 days!

The reason I’m having them do the 3 small challenges is two-fold.  One, the tiny steps add up towards the big goal as I noted above, but even more important is the mental boost you get when you do anything consistently for 30 days.  Seeing those check marks, feeling accomplished – you get an endorphin high.

That endorphin high is crucial because it will push you do continue on. You are training your brain that the discipline isn’t painful – in fact, there is some joy in it!

Lastly, I reminded my clients to flip the switch in their brains and say I GET to do this versus I HAVE to do this.   I have to thank my mentor for that tidbit of advice – it’s truly brilliant.

You don’t have to settle; start with subtle changes. It works.