negative

feedback

How to Tell if You are Getting Sincere Feedback

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Asking for feedback is a pretty normal part of life, right? You ask for people’s opinions all the time: Do they like a new recipe you made, do they like this color paint for the living room, does this new shirt make you look fat?, etc. Do you always get the truth… maybe not? In fact, I recently saw this post on Facebook that said, let me know if you want to vent or you really want advice. It’s an honest question too because sometimes people just want validation and they really don’t want your opinion.

When it comes to getting sincere feedback at work, it can be even harder. Why? Well, to be honest, some people just don’t care to give you honest feedback. Some people don’t like confrontation, so they say great job regardless. There are others who are jealous and want you to fail, so they give you bad advice or won’t point out mistakes. Either way, it’s not sincere and it’s not helping.

People always telling you that you are doing a great job is nice to hear, but it’s really not effective and it’s completely unhelpful for growth and development.

In order to improve at anything in life, you need three things:

  • A clear goal
  • A genuine desire to achieve that goal
  • Feedback that indicates what they are doing well and what they are not doing well

Not only is sincere feedback hard to come by, but low-quality feedback is not useful, positive feedback is undervalued, and negative feedback delivered unskillfully can actually cause physical pain. When delivered thoughtfully, however, sincere feedback can provide you with actionable data needed to become more effective.

If you make strides towards receiving sincere feedback, try these steps:

Create a Safe Environment for Sharing.  You can do this by showing your peers that honesty doesn’t have repercussions. Be curious about them and ask them questions, show vulnerability, and let them know you want to learn. Acknowledge your weaknesses or mistakes – we are all human.

Be Skillful. Just asking for feedback rarely results in useful information. Try asking more specific questions like “Was I talking too fast”, “Do I talk over people or cut them off”, “You know Jason well, how can I better connect with him” – this helps people break down feedback into bite-size pieces.  

Ask for the Good and Bad. When you only hear the good or only the bad, you miss out on a lot of specific information that’s useful. If you just hear the bad, you won’t know the good things you do and risk making changes to those when you shouldn’t. If you just hear the good, you won’t know what bad stuff to fix – you need both for feedback to work. Also, just getting praise does not give you enough information to understand what you are doing effectively – “great job” doesn’t say the same thing as “Hey, your slides are kick-ass, but you should probably just slow down your presentation by 5 seconds”.

Be Receptive and Attentive. When getting feedback, focus on the person giving it so they know you are listening and value their opinion. Even if you disagree with some feedback, don’t challenge or debate them, or you may decrease the likelihood of that person offering you feedback in the future.

Say Thank You. Even if it wasn’t the most helpful information, always say thank you. The person giving you feedback likely spent a good amount of time considering your performance and how to thoughtfully discuss it with you.

Evaluate, Plan, and Act. Review all the data, consider what parts to work on, what parts to disregard and plan to fix what needs fixing. Pick one or two capabilities you want to improve, get really clear about what “improved” looks like, and then map out the action steps that you need to take. If you struggle with the action part – check out this blog.

People who are great leaders are great listeners and great learners. They are always looking for more information and ways to improve themselves. Getting and learning from feedback isn’t always easy, but it is necessary if you want to become better.

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How to handle a Bad Review or Post on Social Media

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Working your brand on social media is GREAT until it isn’t – ugh, a bad review comes in.

As business owners we are all human, which means we make mistakes.  Perhaps we were late delivering on a promise, or a job we promised to be perfect ended up taking a wrong turn or we have an employee that does something inappropriate – it happens more often than we like, or think.

So what happens when the dirty laundry shows up on social media in the form of a bad review, a nasty-gram post, or the troll that just goes all out and posts everywhere how horrible you are.

Well there is a right way…and a terribly WRONG way to handle it.

  1. Own it. If you’ve done something wrong, if you have an unhappy customer just own it.  Don’t make excuses, don’t blame someone else. As the owner, it’s your role to take the hits 100% of the time.
  2. Understand that most unhappy customers just want to be validated and have you take ownership (see #1).
  3. Address the situation PUBLICALLY – so say, “Annie – I’m so terribly sorry you are upset and this happened to you, I’m sending you a private message now so we can get to the bottom of it”. Of course, pen the response according to the situation.
  4. Take it OFFLINE – you don’t want to get in a pissing match with someone in a Facebook feed. Take it off line – call them, email – whatever it takes.
  5. Get to the bottom of the issue – because we all know it could just be they were having a bad day and a minute little mishap has now turned into catastrophe! If you can – make amends.
  6. If you can fix things – ask them to kindly remove the post. It’s better if they do it versus you deleting it.

And more…..

What if they are a troll just trying to make your life miserable? Delete the post and block them.  That’s not to say they won’t find another place to vent. You can’t fix it all.

What about bad Google Reviews?  Unscrupulous competitors will leave negative fake reviews just to be jerks.  Even if it’s FAKE do the following:

  • Address the complaint and apologize for whatever they are complaining about
  • State you can’t seem to find them in your records as being a customer
  • Offer to fix whatever is the problem, give them contact information to whomever is the “fixer”
  • Flag or report the review as fraudulent

NOTE: *Even if you flagged the review, prospects and customers may still see it, or it may not be removed—this is why you ALWAYS respond.

 The big answer: RESPOND.  100% of the Time. 

 If you ignore or just delete, it’s only going to fuel the fire.  If you find yourself in a bad situation and the complaints are piling up – this of course is a bigger problem.  Turn off the review option on social media and watch Google, Yelp and other platforms like a hawk.  Be honest – “we are overwhelmed with orders and are doing our best to catch up” – etc.

In the end, negative reviews are usually overpowered by the GREAT ones! So It’s in your best interest to get as many 5 Stars as you can. So the best response to a negative response is not to have any in the first place.  Make sure you understand your customer journey, your staff is properly trained and your operations are in check.

Struggling?  Give us a call.  We won’t manage your negative press, but we will get you in tip-top shape!

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It’s time to lose the Dead Weight!

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You’ve heard of a detox before – whether it’s a diet, cutting yourself off from bad habits, or a break from technology and the black hole of the digital world – but have you considered doing a detox to rid your life from negative vibes and the people who cause them?

You’ve probably become so accustomed to some people’s behavior that you might not notice that their negativity is rubbing off on you or that they really aren’t cheerleading for you to be successful. Positive things come to those who have a positive mindset. You can practice gratitude, do affirmations, and positive thinking all day, but if you are consistently in a negative environment, you are just setting yourself up for failure.

You might not even realize who the toxic people are in your life without taking some time to really think about it. Have you shared a dream or goal with someone and their response was “you’re too old to change paths or try something new”, or “you don’t know enough about XYZ to be successful”? Those people are the dead weight, the toxic dream killers that are preventing you from believing in yourself and your goals. Their negativity will eventually seep into your veins – trust me.

There are all kinds of negative people out there, some are jealous of what you are doing or trying to accomplish, some just hate change or don’t have the same opinion as you do, and others are just downright miserable and want everyone to be miserable too. Some of those toxic, dead weight people might even try to make you feel uncomfortable, guilty, or even ashamed about the positive changes you are trying to do in your life. Regardless of the reason, it’s time for a detox to get rid of the dead weight. Keep in mind there are levels of toxicity and some people you can’t really cut out of your life for good (coworkers and family), but you can create some distance. Someone who is an Eeyore (Winnie the Pooh’s depressed donkey friend) probably isn’t very toxic, but they just bring your mojo down. I’d suggest distance vs. the ax.

These are the people who are most likely toxic:

Those who try to control you. These people usually aren’t in control of their lives, so they will try to control or manipulate others.

The people who ignore your boundaries. If you ask someone to stop behaving a certain way to you or around you, and they continue, then they are toxic and thrive on violating your boundaries.

The takers. A relationship is about give and take. If they only stick around when there is something in it for them, then you need to move on. If they aren’t going to be there when you need them, but constantly have their hand out, the relationship is dead.

The people who are always “right.” If they can’t admit that they are wrong or messed up, even when they know they did, it’s time to move on.

The liars. A little white lie or an exaggeration every now and then is to be expected. But you can’t trust people who blatantly and repeatedly lie. The victims. It doesn’t matter the situation, they are always claiming that they have been oppressed, put down, and marginalized in ways they clearly are not.

The finger pointers. Along with being always right and the victim, are the people who never take responsibility. When they take the role of victim and never admit they are wrong, they refuse to accept that they are responsible for their choices and the outcome of their life.

So now that we’ve identified those who are killing your positive vibes, how do you get rid of them? Burning bridges is never a good idea, so some tact will need to be involved. Depending on your relationship with the person and how involved they are in your life, here are some ways to start cutting ties:

  1. Write down why you feel the person is toxic and negatively affecting your life – these notes are for yourself, you may need them later.
  2. Talk to them. Keep it simple and explain how you feel. Remain calm and don’t offer deep explanations.
  3. If you must see them at work or at family functions, distance vs. separation will be the key here. Try to reduce the number of interactions you have with them. Make polite conversation but don’t share information about your personal life beyond being courteous.
  4. Unfollow them or block them on social media. Out of sight, out of mind. If they don’t see your updates on social media, then they won’t be able to say anything negative about what you are doing.
  5. If they try to make amends, remember step number 1 and go back and review your notes. At this point, only you can decide if it’s worth a second chance.

That’s my PSA. Yes, it’s much easier said than done, but once you start trimming off that dead weight, you’ll start to see how much more positivity is in your life and it might just inspire you to do some great things!

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Devil’s Advocate – Why You Need One

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You might think that a Devil’s Advocate is a bad thing, but it’s one of the best things for your business. Let me explain.

Scenario: A new project or service is being developed and a core group of people are going to be working on it. Sometimes the idea is the brainchild of a boss or department head, and they hand pick their team to work on it. They don’t accept ideas from outsiders, and they are certain it’s going to be the next best thing since sliced bread.

Outcome: They spends time, energy, and even company money to implement the idea and NOTHING CHANGES, or THINGS CHANGE FOR THE WORSE. They get some horrible feedback from clients, etc. Then you start to hear the grumblings from employees saying they knew it was a bad idea or that it wouldn’t work, or they would have done it this way, etc.

When you have a small group of people working on one thing over a long period of time, they develop the same perspective on what is going into the project or what is being taken out. They are all dedicated and loyal to what they are working on, but when the time comes to launch it, they are expecting, whether they realize it or not, for everyone to feel exactly the same way.

Sound familiar? It happens everywhere, and it doesn’t matter if the reason is that the people are too like-minded, or that the boss or leader of the project just won’t listen to anyone, or if the employees are just “yes people” and don’t want to rock the boat or put any extra energy into thinking about the idea. Regardless of the reason, it can be crippling for your business.

The idea of a Devil’s Advocate might sound really negative, but it’s not, well, not if they have the right mentality. As long as they aren’t focusing on just the bad things (a Negative Nelly), and they can offer some alternate ideas instead (they come with solutions, not just pointing out the problems), and they spark others to think outside the box, then having a Devil’s Advocate on your team is a win-win.

Here’s the tricky part though, the big cheese needs to be willing to listen. We’ve had several clients over the year say that they need a change, they are open to new ideas, etc. BUT at the end of the day, they just didn’t listen. They would buck every new idea with why it wouldn’t work, they wouldn’t get their team excited about the new ideas, or they would agree to the idea but then 5 minutes later, they are off on their own path again creating chaos.

How do you know if a Devil’s Advocate (DA) is successfully doing their job? In all actuality, it should be subtle. There should NOT be huge disagreements, people stomping off getting angry, or a project being put on hold until people cool off. A DA just responds to ideas by asking more questions. They ask What If scenarios. They offer some suggestions on doing things different – would it have the same or better outcome. They spark others to think about the actual cause and effect. Their job is to get everyone thinking. If everyone agreed all the time with the first idea that came up, I’m pretty sure we’d still be in the Stone Ages.

It’s how Cindy and I work daily. She might be the one who still signs my paycheck, but if I just Yes’d her on every idea, piece of content, or strategy, I’d never be challenging her or myself. It’s not about being difficult or pushing back, it comes from a place of love and knowing that maybe if we dig a little deeper or consider a different angle, something GREAT will be born instead of something that’s just OK. Now, we make sure we are always moving forward, because progress should never stop, but taking time along the way to make sure we are still doing it the best way at the moment is crucial.

Do you have any great Devil’s Advocate stories, please share, I’d love to hear them? Comment below or send me an email at jenn@staging.redbarnconsultingllc.com.

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